Some of the reading I’ve been doing has been describing that almost always, our thoughts and behavior start from one of two places: fear or love. The more I read and consider it, and the more I pay attention, I can see the truth in it.
And as I thought of it, the word home base has been popping up in my head. In baseball, it is the place that the batter starts, and if he gets a hit, it is the base he must return to in order to score a point.
But the dictionary also defines home base as the place in which someone or something lives or operates. That is what I wanted to explore.
I would like my home base to be love, and not fear. Some days, it can be quite the task to have that as my starting point.
It’s much easier to have our home base be love when things are going our way. When the sailing is smooth and there are no obstacles in our way. But what happens when they aren’t? Fear usually takes over.
And what are we afraid of? Perhaps we are afraid of not getting our way, losing control of a situation, or looking or feeling like a failure. But I think it all boils down to our fear of not feeling good or okay. A feeling most of us spend so much time trying to avoid. We strive to orchestrate life and circumstances so that we don’t ever have to feel the uncomfortable feeling.
An example for me was a few months ago when our son told us he was planning on moving out. My response to him was “okay, let me process this and we can talk later.” What was going on inside my head was more like: Nope! It’s too soon, he’s not ready, I know it’s not the right time, etc. All of that was coming from a home base of fear.
Thankfully, because I gave myself time to think and pray about it before we talked, I was able to let go of most (not all, I admit) of the fear. Starting out in fear came out as me telling God what I thought needed to happen, with an agenda that He would somehow give me the right words to say so our son would change his mind, and telling God I needed Him to support me in this. That I, his mom knew what was best. What I heard back was God laughing, saying “really, you know what is best for him? Don’t you think it is more likely that I know more? Maybe this is exactly what is best for him right now.”
That was the turning point for me. The majority of the fear dissolved, and when we talked I could then respond to our son in love, supporting him in his decision, with trust and quiet confidence that it would all work out.
I’m grateful that I took the opportunity to choose wisely, and have seen the outcome of what happens when I come from a home base of love, and not fear.
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